How to recognise that you need self-love healing to address the needs of your inner child?

Or if your current struggles are connected to a wounded inner child?

According to psychologists, every adult has an inner child.

Your inner child is that part of you that just never grew up, even though you are now an adult. She may be your younger self as a newborn or a 6 year old. Her wounds can come about because she has been holding on to hurt, disappointment, pain or any negative emotions, and her needs have not been met.

If the needs of your inner child remain unresolved, it can potentially affect your mental well-being and relationships. Thus, inner child healing is a crucial part to deep psychological work. It involves the spiritual process of reconnecting to the wounded elements of your inner child.

Here are 7 indicative signs that you need self-love healing which involves “meeting” your inner child…

1. Fear of Abandonment. You have deep fears about being abandoned.  Thus, it could cause you to be clingy. Even though your relationships may be toxic, you’d give plenty of excuses to stay on.

2. Tendency to Overreact. You tend to react rather than respond, and your reactions tend to be out of proportion to the trigger. An example is getting into rage when someone cuts queue. When you don’t feel in control of your reactions to a situation, it’s your inner child acting up.

3. Boundary Issues. You have a hard time saying “no” to requests. In order to please others, you may choose to sacrifice your own needs. Others take advantage of you when you have poor boundaries set up.

4. Low self-confidence. You constantly criticise yourself and you often feel inadequate or “not good enough”. At a deep level, you believe that there is something wrong with you.

5. Perfectionistic tendencies. You shame yourself when you can’t meet your standards or expectations. Self-forgiveness is very hard for you. 

6. Deep anxiety. You can’t handle stress and often experience deep anxiety. On the extreme, you may even suffer from panic attacks. Read case study here. With deep anxiety, it could be that you have the fear that things will turn out horribly for you and so you find it hard to trust. It affects your ability to commit. You may have the fear of being betrayed as well.

7. Feel like a “nobody” and lack of significance. You feel that you are not being seen or heard. Health issues like eczema can also manifest. Also, you may believe that you don’t have a place here on Earth, and have existential issues.

With issues such as above, the consequences can be dire. You can potentially find it hard to function well, struggle at work or in your business, have health issues, suffer from chronic depression etc….life can appear to be one of suffering.

The Truth with Trauma

The truth is: many of us have traumas – whether they are big or small – from our past that need addressing.

It’s obvious when it comes to the big traumas (Ts) in life. For example, when an abuse or the death of a caregiver happens, and you have not had a chance to deal with the traumatic experience. Thus, you have an inner child who is needing some help.

But it could also be a series of small traumas (“t”s). So, maybe your parents didn’t exactly physically abandon you. Instead, any one of the situations could have happened…

• Your parents were too busy and you felt neglected as a child
• You did not get the bonding that you needed with your mum as a newborn
• You had to take on adult responsibilities even though you were still a kid
• Your caregivers constantly put you down
• Your parents never quite validated or guided you in the past.

As a result of any of these, you could have made certain negative conclusions and limiting beliefs about yourself or about the world. Holding on to a belief of “I’m not lovable” or “I am not enough” can affect you in your adult life. When you reconnect with your wounded inner child, you are able to access the fragmented parts of yourself so that you can collapse the patterns behind your phobias, underlying fears, insecurities, and self-sabotaging inclinations.

A reconnection with my inner child is essentially self-love healing. As a result of inner child or self-love healing, clients have also reported reduced anxiety, increased confidence, money breakthroughs, and a lot more ease with achieving their goals. It’s evident that if more of us can do some inner child or self-love healing, the world will be a much better place.

How to Address The Wounds of Your Inner Child with Self-Love Healing

Inner child or self-love healing can be achieved by the following 3 important steps: 

1. Reconnecting with her by acknowledging her presence and embracing her with love
2. Releasing the disruptive negative emotions held by your inner child 
3. Rewriting with a new set of beliefs that support well-being.  

You can choose to write a letter to your inner child too.

What If You Need More Help with  Inner Child or Self-Love Healing

It can be that you find it difficult to reach out to your inner child. Or, you don’t really have a good sense that you are able to help her on your own. Or, you may be fearful about any unknown that can potentially arise from going back to the past. 

Whatever it is, if you have experienced a big traumatic experience in the past, it could be that you need more assistance. In this case, I recommend that you seek a trained psychologist or medical expert for help. 

However, if your issue is likely the result of small traumatic experiences (or ts), do reach out to me.

The difference in my approach: I use a combination of methodologies via EFT, energy psychology, Matrix Reimprinting and Neuro-linguistic Programming for self-love healing. Read this article on why a body-based approach is recommended over many other therapies. We work on resolving the root cause of your issues at the subconscious level, somatically and also energetically.

Give your inner child the permission to heal with self-love. 

Shine in self-love always,
Evelyn Lim
Self-Love Online Healing Specialist

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