One of the things I’ve been fascinated about as I’ve been learning chess is discovering my thinking mistakes.

It turns out, my brain isn’t a well-programmed computer when it comes to making chess decisions, so uncovering my thinking mistakes is a great way to improve.

I’ve been thinking about how to apply this to personal development — if you’re trying to create better habits or improve your productivity or fitness, how can you uncover some old thinking patterns that aren’t serving you?

So here’s my attempt at pointing to some very common thinking patterns that I believe aren’t serving most people as they try to improve parts of their lives …

Please read the descriptions of each, because the part in bold might not be something you recognize until you read further.

1. I can do this later. This is, of course, true — you can always do this task or commitment later. There’s always time later to write your book, study your course, do your meditation, do your workout. But this will be true later as well — later today, you can still say, “I can do this tomorrow.” The problem with this thinking is that if you extend it beyond this one instance, you’ll be putting your important (but non-urgent) things off all the time. This thinking pattern results in procrastination of the most important but uncomfortable things in your life. Upgrade: This is important enough to do now, or to commit to a time to do it.
2. Just one time won’t hurt. This is what I’d say when I was trying to quit cigarettes — just one won’t hurt. That’s literally true, except that of course it leads to more. This kind of thing applies to any kind of addiction or compulsion — including compulsive shopping or video game playing, etc. Upgrade: My health/finances/family/mission is more important than this one temporary pleasure.
3. Life is too short to make myself suffer. Another thing I’d tell myself when I was struggling to quit smoking — it was really hard, and I didn’t enjoy making myself suffer. Go figure! And yes, when things are hard, you just want to get out of the discomfort. The problem is that always avoiding discomfort will lead to a very limited life, and sabotage all of your meaningful efforts. Upgrade: I can grow through this adversity, and am strong enough to take on hard challenges.
4. What’s wrong with me? When we don’t live up to our expectations, many of us have a habit of criticizing ourselves. This is a mistake, because it has the effect of discouraging us, and also makes us want to avoid trying, and instead comfort ourselves with our usual distractions. Upgrade: Learn to be kind to yourself, and always assume you’re trying your best … but that there might be some thinking mistakes you can uncover when things don’t go as you’d hoped.
5. This is too boring / hard. I’ve heard people say this about exercise, meditation, studying, or difficult tasks. And there’s some truth — things like that can be hard and boring. But if we always shy away from the difficult, boring things, we’ll vastly limit ourselves. Upgrade: I have the courage to take on hard things, and the creativity to find fun in anything.
6. This is too much. When we’re overwhelmed by everything we have to do, this is the kind of thinking we have — it’s too much for us. We can’t handle it. But of course, we don’t really know that, do we? It just feels like too much. Upgrade: I’m going to take it one step at a time, and find beautiful focus in each step. And see what’s possible.
7. I feel behind on everything. This is another version of “it’s too much” … we feel like we’re trying to keep our heads above water, but not succeeding. But where does this idea of “behind on things” come from? Usually it’s our own expectations that we be on top of everything, that our task list be cleared out, that everything is in order and not a mess. That’s not how things work — life is messy. Upgrade: I’m always just where I need to be — this is where my deepest learning is to be found.
8. I’m impatient to get the results I want. We rarely put it this way, but most of us do things with the hope that we’ll be done soon and get the results we’re looking for right away. Want to get fit? The hope is that you’ll be lean and fit in a month! Want to improve your finances? Ideally we’d be there next week! Write a book, study a subject, or declutter … and your hope is that you’ll get to the end soon and have the great results. But that’s not how progress happens — it’s gradual, and it takes time. Upgrade: I’m going to focus on enjoying the process, and the results will come at the right pace.
9. I’m too busy. I can’t do these meaningful things, I have so much to do! This is similar to the “I can do this later” mistake — we’re always busy! The busy-ness doesn’t end. So when will you take on this meaningful task? Upgrade: I make time for the things that matter to me.
10. I just want to get this over with. Similar to the “impatient to get results” … when we’re exercising, meditating, writing, we want to be done already, impatient to move on to the next thing. Of course, when we get to the next thing, we’ll be impatient to be done with that. This approach of “getting it over with” is applied to everything we do. It turns life into a hamster wheel, never-ending dull tasks we want to be done with. Upgrade: I am present and fully devoted in everything I do.

Which of these thinking mistakes do you often make? Which are holding you back? It can be a huge boost to look for these and try to spot them in action. Then to try to work with them in a new way, and see what’s possible!

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